Ill at ease

I have to say, today...I am a little ill at ease as I think about the barriers created not just about sex, but about the word itself. If mentioned in a public setting, it is not uncommon to see mothers covering the ears of their children, as if the word itself will ooze blackness into their souls. Do these mothers forget how their children came to be? Is their shame in their own sexual acts?

I have a friend who, a sex educator herself, expressed fear because she was having a daughter. She said with boys, you could tell them not to kiss too much, keep their penis in their pants and move on. Girls, you had to make sure they didn't get pregnant. She is a sex educator, so we had a long conversation about how she is empowered and how that will affect the decisions her daughter will make in the future.

We talked about her daughter, and the chance she will have to make educated, informed decisions. That by having an open dialogue of age-appropriate sex education throughout her life, she would create the foundation for further communication as her daughter got older. With this attitude, her daughter would be more inclined to have PROTECTED sex, if at all...being aware of the responsibilities that come along with it.

The fear I have the most are the children who never hear the word sex at home... the children who are being taught by the other kids on the bus about the most magical, intimate act between souls could be. The mystery, the responsibility, the sacredness of sex loses something in the translation from a precocious ll-year-old telling stories about his older brother before breakfast has even had time to digest.

Each time I introduce a school therapy group to the concept of talking to kids about sex (or talking about sex at all), we spend more time brainstorming after the session than playing out the actual session. It is amazing to me that people are in such need to create a healthy open dialogue. My teaching tool has been inspired by all of this!

Perhaps being raised by a CPS caseworker wasn't so bad (at one point in my life, I resented my mother's job). I knew how to take care of myself as a young woman in situations that could have gotten scary, and I continue to be an asset to those around me.

I do have to say, though, that I have gotten some interesting reactions from people. Most people, when they find out I am a sex educator say, "good, we need more of you!" However, some have thought that I want to educate their kids when I bring up this topic, and I can see the fear in their eyes.

Actually, it is not the children I want to educate, but the parent's on the most important concept of all....the content comes second to the OPEN LINE of COMMUNICATION!